Hi everyone. I read an article in Glamour magazine about differences between a good and a bad relationship. I guess theoretically we know what we need to do, but also habits die hard as the saying goes. I also read somewhere that it takes 21 days of doing the same thing to make it a habit. Now if you have been doing something for years, you can imagine how difficult it can be to change a habit. Conversely, it also shows you that if you stick with something for about 3 weeks, it will become a habit. Three weeks out of your life are not that much, especially if you develop a good habit. So here is the recipe:

1 part own up to your mistakes and apologize. There is no win or loss. Your ego does not need to be hurt. But I know from personal experience, it is difficult.

1 part compliment your partner and if you are going to point out something that bothers you, do so by also telling them what you like or admire about them.

1 part don’t stay upset for a long time. I remember watching the Cosby Show in the 80’s. They had a rule: never go to bed angry.

1 part dependability. Make sure that if you promise to take care of something, you do it. I especially try to do that with our kids, not that I neglect my wife. But things that don’t seem important to you may be very important to them. So if you promise that you are going to make their favorite dish or take them shopping for a video game, try to keep the promise. I realize life gets in the way.

1 part don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. I sometimes tend to do that and things get blown out of proportion. Think about what you want to stand for or against and how important it is in the big scheme of things.

1 part keep some time for yourself. If you are in love, you don’t have to be joined at the hip. Each one deserves some space. In my case, I go out for drinks with my guy friends and my wife has her own girls night out.

1 part be open. You should be comfortable discussing touchy things like a previous relationship, money etc.

Please tell me what you think.